By Our Reporter
A recent video of a Metropolitan Police officer allegedly reprimanding Nigerian women in the UK for calling the police on their husbands at the slightest provocation, instead of managing it went viral on social media sparking outrage.
The video clip, though filmed about six years ago, during a church service at Divine Restoration International Church in Camberwell in London, shows a police staff member, who most likely is a Nigerian speaking in fluent Yoruba to a group of women, urging them to avoid being wrongly influenced by the society and to learn to handle marital issues amicably and with love instead of inviting the police.
The Police officer made this admonition in the church while three other officers stood by.
The counsel comes against the backdrop of recent reports of Nigerian wives in the UK reporting their husbands to the police for various reasons, including domestic violence, child abuse, criminal activity, and cultural misunderstandings.
The police officer said: “We all pray never to see our children’s graveyards; Nigerians have always prayed to leave children behind, but today, it seems the opposite is happening. We must change our mindset, especially women who feel their husbands are unimportant. They should return to their roots. You see, that man (husband), even if he isn’t contributing much, just being at home sometimes makes a difference. As a woman, there are times when you may want to talk to your child, and they might not listen to you, but they will listen to their father.
“But if you’re a mother on your own, the child might not obey you. However, when the father says ‘stop,’ the child will obey. Even if the man isn’t doing much, try as much as possible to manage it. Though there’s little room for management, how we build our homes sometimes matters. Some women feel men are insignificant because of the circumstances we find ourselves in. We are here because we want to help people back in Nigeria, but if you look at some of them back home, they are looking better than you, and don’t think if you don’t send money to them, you’ll die. Please, take care of your husband.”
Furthermore, the police urged the women to prioritise their homes and not allow the influences of society to undermine their marriages.
“Women, think about your home, and if you allow the society we live in to corrupt us, it becomes a problem. We’ve got to work together and make it work. We, the police, are here to help you; we’re not your enemies but your friends. If you have any problems, discuss them with us, and we can give you advice,” the police said.
However, this piece of advice has attracted different interpretations to it, thereby generating a lot of controversy.
Consequently, the Metropolitan Police have ordered an investigation into the matter, and police, according to the UK Mirror, have referred the footage to the Met’s standards unit.
The children’s safeguarding group Africa has expressed anger at the remarks in a letter of complaint to the Met detailing how the officer’s advice was “telling victims to stay in abusive relationships and not to seek police protection.”
Speaking to the UK Mirror, Chief Executive of Africa, Debbie Ariyo reportedly expressed her disappointment at the officer’s statement trying to dissuade women from calling the police on their husbands.
“When I heard it, I was livid. Like what do you mean? So if a man is abusing the woman, and don’t forget, domestic violence is not always about physical abuse, or emotional even in terms of cultural practices, its a sexual issue – so if a woman is being abused in the home, she shouldn’t call the police because if she does, the man will be removed from the home and the children will spiral and it will be her fault.
“If a woman is being abused, you’re saying that women shouldn’t seek police protection. “That was really bad of them, that’s just like minimising these issues in our communities. That Nigerians don’t really matter. Even children are victims in the home when domestic violence is going on.”
The charity chief went on to add that she felt violence against Black women was not being highlighted, as figures from PA News agency from the Metropolitan Police show of the 21 femicide victims recorded by the force in 2022, nine victims (43%) were Black and have higher rates than any other ethnic group.
Debbie said: “We’ve been talking about violence against women but we haven’t talked about violence against Black women. Women in African and Caribbean communities.
“And so to hear a police officer who should understand the UK Domestic Violence Act of 2021, telling women that they shouldn’t call the police on their husbands, whatever the explanation is, it’s counterproductive. I felt it was an attack on Nigerian women.
“Coming from a police officer, where we see many police officers being convicted of hurting women, it’s the first thing I thought about.”
When approached by the Mirror, Detective Chief Superintendent Seb Adjei-Addoh said that the video had been referred to the professional standards team.
He said: “The incident reported relates to an informal talk by a police member of staff made at a church in Camberwell back in 2018. The comments made by the member of the police staff categorically do not represent the position of the Met in relation to domestic abuse and are wrong. There are no circumstances where it would be appropriate for a victim-survivor of domestic abuse not to report it to the police if they feel able to do so.
“Over recent years, the Met has developed a raft of dedicated investigation teams focused on domestic abuse. Within the boroughs of Lambeth and Southwark, we work in partnership with the local authorities and third-sector charities involved in VAWG to ensure we have strategies to encourage domestic abuse reporting and support victim-survivors of domestic abuse.
With additional reports from Vanguard and the News Agency of Nigeria, NAN