What kind of parenting style do you find most effective and that you can adopt for optimal results on your children?
In adopting any particular style, be warned that whichever style you choose will affect your child’s self- esteem, his social behavior as well as his physical health. Therefore, before you adopt any style , ensure that the method used will impact positively on your child’s mental and physical health growth. This is imperative, because the way and manner parents relate with their children will determine what sort of men and women they will grow into in future.
Experts have identified four main types of parenting styles, identifie by its major advantages and disadvantages, as well as its different characteristics:
Authoritarian
Authoritative
Permissive
Uninvolved
Authoritarian Parenting:
Parents who adopt this style of parenting always strive to cut the picture of being the one in control and knowing it all; at least what he/she thinks is best for the child. These kind of parents believe always that they are the ones who set the rules in the house, and the child’s duty is to obey without complaint regardless of how the child might feel.
Authoritarian parents prefer punishment to discipline, with the sole intention of making the child sorry for daring to disobey the rules rather than talking things over. Children who grew up in such a setting as this, are more inclined to having very low self-esteem as their opinions never counted.
Such kids may invariably grow up to be very hostile or aggressive. Rather than think about how to do things better in the future, they often focus on the anger they feel toward their parents or themselves for not living up to parental expectations. Since authoritarian parents are often strict, their children may grow to become good liars in an effort to avoid punishment.
Authoritative Parenting:
Parents with this method of parenting tend to be a lot of effort in ensuring proper bonding with their child.
These kind of parents, unlike the authoritarian one, show considerable feelings; they make rules and give consequences, while not forgetting to take their child’s feelings into consideration.
The authoritative parent makes it unequivocally clear to their child that the adult is in charge, but not without factoring their child’s opinions and feelings. They exercise considerable time and energy on their child, using as basic tools the strategy of reinforcing positive behavior, like the praise and reward system. By applying this method of parenting, they manage to instill in their child thevalues of responsibility and self -assertion.
Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They’re also more likely to be good at making sound decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.
Authoritative parents invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. They also use positive discipline strategies to reinforce positive behavior, like praise and reward systems.
Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable self-advocating and expressing their opinions and feelings.2
Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They’re also more likely to be good at making sound decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.
Permissive Parenting:
Just like the name implies, permissive parenting set rules alright but with no consequences as such rules are hardly enforced. They always believe in not interfering too much in the child’s learning process.
More often than not, they wait until there is serious problem before stepping in. Permissive parents are always very quick to forgive the child when he shows the slightest indication or sign of remorse. They more or less assume the role of a friend and encourage their child to talk to them just about anything; and lacks the effort or will power to instill discipline or discourage their child from making poor choices. More often, they overindulge the child.
Kids who grow up in this setting are more likely to struggle academically. They end up with very low self-esteem and may be prone to depression.
Uninvolved Parenting:
This is the worst kind of parenting style to adopt, if you ask me. Parents who take to this method of parenting most times, give the excuse of being too busy or occupied with other chores such as work, paying bills and other overwhelming house chores; thereby giving an indication that those other chores or businesses that keep them away from their children are more important. Their children, therefore, take second place. This is not good at all.
Parents in this group are usually too busy to ask their children about school or homework. They show little or no interest at all. They hardly spend much time with their kids and are not involved in their kids world. As a result children brought in homes like this do not receive much guidance, nurturing and parental attention.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves or completely leave the training of their kids to outsiders.
Some times this may be intentional or unintentional. For instance, a parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problem may not be able to care for a child’s physical and emotional needs on a consistent basis.
Children who are unfortunate to grow up in such an ill organized home like this are likely to suffer from acute low self-esteem.
They tend to perform poorly in school. They also exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank low in happiness.